Sexual health education is about science and safety. Starting sexual health education at an early age is vitally important for three key reasons: protection, prevention, and preparation.
Protection
Teaching kids to be "body scientists" equips them with the same terminology that doctors use, so they can understand health information and vocalize exploitation in a way that others understand. Doing this teaching at an early age catches children when they are curious rather than embarrassed, as older kids can sometimes be.
Prevention
If safe adults don't teach children, someone else will. Siblings, playmates, media, and even pornography can be a child's first source of information. This information can be unreliable and even harmful.
Preparation
Children who learn sexual health education from an early age are less vulnerable to abuse. Vulnerable kids are less likely to report abuse, because they haven't been taught to do so.
How to Start Talking …
It's all about scaffolding. Discussions of consent can start at a young age. For example, let young children decide how they want to say goodnight to guests — whether that's a hug, a high five, a handshake, or just "goodnight." Kids learn early on that they can practise consent and become comfortable being in control of their own bodies.
Preschoolers and kindergarteners can learn the foundations of body science. This can help them understand, for example, that their baby sibling grows in a special place called a uterus, rather than in the "tummy" where food is. This scaffolding continues as kids grow older. Don't have one two-hour conversation. Have many two-minute conversations. As children grow older, parents can include more nuance and add discussion of family rules, beliefs, and values.
… and How to Keep Talking
When talking to preteens and teens, listening is more important than talking. Try casual conversation starters like "Got two minutes? I want your thoughts on this."
It's also okay to have a "B team" that kids go to — maybe an aunt or a trusted family friend. If teens want to discuss their concerns with safe adults, that is perfectly fine. After all, it takes a village!
Puberty 101
Here's how parents can help support their kids during this big change:
- Puberty can begin as early as eight or nine years old, so start talking about it before this time so it doesn't come as a shock. Explain to your child that bodies change and what to expect.
- It's important to explain puberty changes in a gender-inclusive way.
- Check with your primary care provider about your child's specific health needs.
- If applicable, consider the various period product options available. These days, pads, tampons, menstrual cups, and menstrual underwear — even organic versions — are widely available.
By Leah Payne
Disclaimer: This article is intended for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding your child's specific health needs and development.